free website hit counter Spiced Tea & Letters: Passing him by

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Passing him by

I remember the first time he asked me out. I was living on campus, it was spring 2002. We just met one day, he seemed like a cool dude. But, I was so shy, I turned him down. Second time was during that winter: still shy and I lost a little interest. Plus someone else was on my mind. The third time he asked me out I was running to the subway. I was on my way to cover a Roy Hargrove show. We rode the subway together and this is when I learned about his immense knowledge of jazz. But, I was so broke and self-concious, I wasn't in the mood for dating of any kind. I passed on his offer.

I didn't see him for months to follow. Then I saw him again in 2004, he asked I wanted to go the Blue Note, I forgot who was playing but he proposed a very nice evening. I couldn't go, I was leaving for the Gullah Islands and then Morocco and I had crazy things to take care of, including finding a place to stay in Fez - I didn't want to be homeless in another country!

Earlier this year he caught me right after I came from Los Angeles. Asked me out again. I was getting to know someone at the time and I don't juggle men. I had to turn him down.

Today, coming from the printer I see him. I tell him about the new Coltrane and Monk CD. He's like, what are you doing Saturday? Delfeayo Marsalis Quintet at Jazz @ Lincoln Center. I know. But, Ramadhan is starting this week and I'll be engaged with that; I don't want to do so much extra stuff.

The look on his face.

I'm sorry!!!

What can I do? What a wack feeling...

18 Comments:

At 7:58 PM, Blogger journalisticks said...

if it's meant to be you'll run into him again. Or so we'd like to think.

just showing you some love miss lady. i didn't forget about you.

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Patry Francis said...

It sounds like something's percolating beneath the surface...for both of you. I'll be watching for an update on this one.

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

Geez, he is either (#1) the world's dumbest dude (#2) the world's most persistent dude or (#3) your future husband--all rolled into one!
Ha! Either way, he sounds like a doll! Who knows? There might be sparks between you-- should you two eventually find yourselves sharing a tiny table in some dimly lit cafe.
Either that or see # 1 and # 2 above. Ha!

 
At 1:27 AM, Blogger brooklyn babe said...

Would U go out with dude already!!!
Lol.... and stop keeping me in suspense. Geez. If his breathe is "hot." No can do.... but fresh breathe, fresh date, sounds like a fresh start... ya neva know... *wink*

 
At 1:41 AM, Blogger Chubby Chocolate said...

I'm a true believer that everything happens for a reason...Maybe you two were meant to play the chase game. OR!!! Maybe you're lagging untilyou fell it's the absolute right time and he's your soul-mate....Hmmmmmm

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger Laylah Queen of the Night said...

Chloe - I miss you! Yes, if meant to be, it will be. Man, I wish I could get a sneak preview of other things that are/should be meant to be.

Paty - Ha! Somethings been percolating for the past 3 years, its so funny. I am really suprised that he asked me out after the second time. Men are so sensitive sometimes, if they get turned down they'll close the door on u forever.

Midlife - you really have me in stiches right now, I almost knocked my laptop over! You are a riot! I dont know if he's dumb, over even persistant, but I do know he's got BAD timing! LOL!

BrooklynBabe - I'd hang with dude, he seems to know how to plan a nice time on the town, Delfeayao @ Jazz/Lincoln Center, real nice.But, like I said before, he catches me at the wrong time. Always!

Chubby Chocolate - did I tell you that I was in SF this summer? Well, me too, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Wow, if dude is my soulmate, thats cool caues he's real mellowed out, and not the type-a/alphamale/egomaniac/jazz musician type thats lately dominated my palate, lol!

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger The Foxybrown Show said...

Girl...I don't know I want you to go out with this brother...

Keep me posted!

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger defiant goddess said...

I hope this guy is a MAJOR loser because if you keep passing up a GOOD thing ... I just will not understand at all.

Sounds like you're just not that into him. We *know* you date. SO ... if you wanted to go out with him, you could always say, hey not then but how about some other time. And then *suggest* a time.

Poor thing. He's been tryin'a get with you since 02? Tell him you have a friend. I'll make time for him. ;)

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Ms. B said...

Yeah, he should respect that if he is good guy. I have a friend like that but I trust that when the time is right we will eventually wind up together.

 
At 12:01 AM, Blogger Rell said...

dang denied...

persistence will kill you!

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Amadeo said...

Dude is trying for real...gotta love it.

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

He definitely is persistent.

 
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At 6:10 AM, Blogger Marcus Harris said...

I'm with midlife crisis: all these "chance" encounters aren't happening for nothing . . . check him out for once and for all and see what he's about. That way, at least you won't go the rest of your life wondering about the possiblities.

 
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At 11:03 AM, Blogger Clay said...

this sounds like a scene from Love Jones!!! be sure to revisit my blog!

 
At 8:54 PM, Blogger Slim said...

I think its cute that he kept trying. But persistence can start to get annoying!

 
At 4:52 PM, Anonymous sevenmack said...

Sounds like you're not exactly as into him as he's into you. From where I come from, anything other than a 'yes' is a no and when a woman comes up with a myriad excuses to not go out, then it's obviously time for him to move on. It would probably help as well if you told him the same thing.

Some folks like to think persistence is a beautiful thing when it comes to love. I think it's a sign that he doesn't think nearly as much of himself as he should. If he did, he wouldn't have bothered asking you out the last time; he'd have too many other women in his life to concern himself with such constant rejection.

 

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